I heard the FAs saying they're cracking down on their uniform compliance, is that true?
So it seems like they're uniformly coming down on uniforms. So let's talk about uniforms per our manuals. First, let's play the UpFront game "what blanking manual did I see that in?"
The Hat Policy: this is found in the FOM.
Wear it, wear it well, wear it always. Until the band on the front starts cutting into your scalp. If that happens, try duck tape. Ski caps approved for exterior inspections and seriously may be black or dark blue, like a color called... black. .
Trousers Policy: this is found in the Airway Manual.
Believe it or not pleats are optional, but if your kind of big around the hip area, please don't go with a flat front. Cuffs... are okay and it's okay to flip the bird to anyone who looks at your cuffs.
Purse Policy: Located in the Airway Manual
All women, it must be black. All the single ladies, it must be from a ThirtyOne party. Men's purses... please make sure it looks like your computer/EFCB/headset bag.
Sweater Policy:Located in the FCTM.
If you shouldn't wear tight sweaters, as in, nobody has ever told you that they're turned on by your tight sweater, don't wear it. And do not scratch your nose with it, the sweaters will rub your nose off. Black only may be a cardigan or a pullover.
Shoe Policy: Flight Crew Training Manual and the Supplemental section of the QRH
Can be lace, heels < 2". Slip-ons are now okay as we move into the 21st century.
Jacket Policy: This is found in a VOL 2. It's 3 paragraphs long but takes 8 pages of headers and footers to print out.
Wear it as soon as you notice everyone is or isn't wearing theirs. And remember the jacket must be buttoned all the way, even though some of the buttons, are fake. But yes, exceptions based on destination and that's it. Otherwise, on at all times unless you're in da plane.
Tie Policy: This is found in the QRH and VOL 1. Please use both, as they reference each other.
Cannot be silk.
Belt Policy: This is in VOL 1 of course.
You will have to prove that you are not using your last hole.
Sock Policy: You'll find this in the TOPP 5.62.1H of the MDM. Remember, that's not a page number. Don't use the page numbers, use the headers at the top.
Black or black like, like The Navy blue.
Name Tag Policy: As always, on a hard card kept in the cockpit.
Name tags are not readable, it's okay to substitute the name tag for a piece of shiny brass taped to your shirt.
Shirt Policy: This is where you'd expect it to be, in Volume 2.
It's gotta be white, clean, neat, pressed and not have been worn for the last 4 days straight even if that makes your life easier and you have a great way of getting the ring around the collar off. If you do, per the Volume 2, you are to post your collar rule on Pinterest. You may continue wearing the same shirt 4 days in a row if you wore a real undershirt and not a wife beater that leaves your arm pits exposed. Females are reminded about the no cleavage policy.
As always, 88 pilots are excused from grease marks on their backs from inspecting the wheel well. Coffee stains in excess of clutter, is not to be tolerated. Silk shirts are not allowed under any circumstances.
Most importantly, if you wear the long sleeve shirt... your individuality and against the grain behavior will not be appreciated.
Alcohol in Uniform Policy: Given the nature of this subject, it's also in the definitions section of the Airway Manual.
This is where you find our simple acronym, SCRAA. Or "Scraa". It means don't be served, consume or remove alcoholic beverages from the aircraft while wearing some or part of your uniform. Please keep in mind if you're only wearing a part of it, that you already look drunk and will be questions.
When to wear the Uniform Policy: You'll find this in the FCTM.
When at work, to work.
Uniform Uniform Compliance Police: This you'll find in the ODM.
The Captain is the man. Management pilots, are even more the man and if going to a meeting can forgo the uniform. Suckers.
Scarf Policy: In the FOM of course, of course.
Black, white or grey. No policy against silk.
Now keep in mind, per the Standard Text training CD that you've been blowing off, we're going to shuffle things around again. We're doing this because as it turns out, the French knew what they were doing.