There's not a "100% solution " in this business, and it's a constant juggle to mix and match family needs and work...BUT...I have been home more than I was in the USAF (overall), and have been able to work the schedule to get to the vast majority of big events in my kid's lives (sports, school, etc). Have I missed some? Yes absolutely. And the washing machine (or something else) always breaks when I'm away. Still, my IMMEDIATE family understands and that's all that matters. The rest of the extended family has very little understanding of how this job works, so I pay little if any attention to them. The key is having enough seniority to be able to massage your schedule to your needs. Juniority sucks for doing that, tho' if you live in domicile you can mitigate it somewhat.
When it's all said and done, it's down to individual family needs and wants. If your bunch is good with it, that's all that matters. If they're not, it bears sitting down and talking about with them, so that they understand the limfacs...