$5000 will buy 727 cases of Ramen Noodles ($6.87 per case) at Sam's Club. There's 36 servings in each case for a total of 26,200 servings.

If you eat three meals a day you'll consume 1095 servings a year. So you'll be able to sustain yourself for 23.9 years, or right about upgrade time. At that point you'll get a raise. The shelf life is not an issue so it looks like a good deal.