These two are kind of similar-

Walking through the automated revolving door at the airport, the photosensor randomly caused the door to stop suddenly, and my FO to nearly collide with the glass. Tool pax behind me: "I hope you guys drive the plane better than that door!" Me (flatly): "I'm not driving this door. Neither is he." Tool pax: "Aww, I was just teasing!" Yeah, **** you. I don't know what you do for a living, but how about I show up at your office and harrass you every time you spill coffee on your shirt.

At the hotel continental breakfast, I'm looking all over the place for milk to put on my cereal. I finally find it in some random, counterintuitive location. Tool lady in the lobby: "I hope you can find your way around your cockpit better than that!" Me: "I fly the same airplane every day. I stay in a different hotel every night."