Strike three You have a DUI, are overweight, no college, older than most, took to long to upgrade, was fired during initial training at a regional, are not overly attractive, can not play golf, Lack people skills, HR gal was having a bad day and a huge number of other silly reasons that you can have your dreams rubbed out.
Why would anyone hire someone with all that baggage? (dui, firing, no people skills, no college).