Originally Posted by
RogerDorn
The worst part is that things will never get better...
What would it be like if other businesses operated on the same principles as airlines? Size 11 shoes would shrink to size 10, then to size 9, and ultimately all the way to size 4. Only first-class pedestrians would be sold shoes that fit them; everyone else would have to squeeze into fraying bootees. Intractable demands by the cobblers' union would be tabbed as the culprit.
Seats are larger than they used to be, and getting larger.
Originally Posted by
RogerDorn
Cardiologists would commandeer the public-address system to announce that they had overbooked open-heart procedures. They would offer a free quadruple bypass operation, valid for one year, to anyone willing to cede his place in line to the next customer. If they got no takers, they would offer two bypasses and a 50% discount on the patient's next four stents.
Dentists would announce that until further notice all wisdom-tooth extractions would be conducted without anesthesia, owing to furloughed dental assistants. Psychiatrists would begin offering frequent psychotic-episode plans that they would then refuse to honor due to mysterious restrictions concealed in the fine print of the agreement.
Doctors do overbook appointments, and occasionally fall ill themselves. Apparently the writer has not bothered to use their $10 calculator to compare medical costs and the price of an airline ticket, nor ever waited in a room for of sick people for four hours.
Originally Posted by
RogerDorn
Quattro formaggi pizzette would be served seven hours after diners ordered it, and no one would be allowed to leave their booth until it arrived. What's more, when it finally came, there would only be uno formaggio. Due to inclement weather, vegan paellas intended for delivery to Beverly Hills would be rerouted to Little Rock, Ark.
Does this make any sense to anyone?
Originally Posted by
RogerDorn
Stand-up comics would cancel jokes halfway through their delivery or announce that they had to go back to the beginning of the joke because the punch line was not yet fully operational. Anyone inside a comedy club who complained that the performer had bombed would be arrested.
I will take our 99.9% completion factor ...
Originally Posted by
RogerDorn
Visitors to state beaches would get charged for seashells, conches and seaweed; adorable little tykes building castles would have to pay a $25 surcharge for any quantities of sand exceeding five pounds.
Our State Parks have had fees as long as I can recall ....
Originally Posted by
RogerDorn
And all customer service personnel would be mean.
Or, Maybe just writers who can't see the World objectively.