I had to make a similar decision a few years ago so I think I can offer a small bit of advice. I'll preface it with the fact that I'm younger than you and do not have kids yet so my decision was easier to make than yours. I decided to leave a 135 gig a few years back to fly at a regional for half the pay. I was home just about every night at my previous job and like I said the pay wasn't too bad, especially compared to first year regional pay. It was hard. So hard in fact that I contemplated returning to my 135 job after a year of employment at the regional. I was lucky enough to have that option and by the sounds of it you might not but couldn't hurt to ask for a leave of absense. I also went from living in base to commuting which added another stress to the new job. I came on hear to get varying opinions on returning similar to what you're doing now. I ultimately decided to stick it out and I believe my initial decision to come here was the right one. Second year pay, although still not back to the level of my previous job, is much more comfortable to live on. I believe my choice to stay helped open doors to further my career. I've seen you on other threads so you may know what I'm referring to.

From your description of your current gig I would be very hesitant to stay at a company like that. Especially now that they know you have been looking at other jobs.

It won't be easy for you or your family but we all are pretty good at adapting to change. I recommend saying yes if you get the call.

Also another piece of advice, while you and your family are adjusting to these changes you automatically lose every argument and your wife wins. Trust me it will make your life much easier.

Good luck!