Originally Posted by
Bucking Bar
Erdude,
Your own advice.
A lot of what's called homophobia isn't. Perhaps bigotry is a better way to describe some peoples' reactions to having a somewhat organized group aggressively force their sexual opinions on them. Venting is mostly a reaction to observations like the nude male bag tags I've seen on a NY Based A line's luggage and our corporation's own sponsorship of a program which sends adults to middle schools to talk to children about sexuality. Where I come from both are highly inappropriate, but are accepted.
Two wrongs don't make a right. In fact, two wrongs on the flight deck is likely a violation, or a safety event. I prefer the Braves to the Yankees and some years I am passionate about that distinction, but, I could care less as long as that other pilot speaks up at the right time to keep us both out of trouble.
IMHO, hypersensitivity to anything is an invitation to distraction. I keep my scope issues here on a web board. I invite you to do the same with whatever issues you might have a particular concern about. This is a better place to fix the World's problems than a flight deck, or heaven forbid with HR.
I strongly believe it is wrong to try to harm a fellow pilot because your opinions are different from theirs ... and at the end of the day, what you describe is a matter of opinion; two extreme views on what is unacceptable behavior.
First of all, thank you erdude for recognizing that pro-stan is the way to go if you want to go to someone about the issue.
Second, very well put, Bar.
Third- If you do have an issue, and do go to HR, you will only be hurting your cause, and not helping it. Nothing will create a reputation faster than writing someone up (not the good kind of reputation and adding negative awareness for your cause) . While likely not very comfortable from your perspective, the thing that would get the most positive response would be to confront the CA's that stated these things. That shows backbone and would not further any stereotypes they may have. Going to HR would have been direct reinforcement of being fickle and emotional. Considering that these captains have made these statements, you obviously don't fit in the "flaming" category, which many find quite annoying. Not because of the sexual connotation (at least not me, I don't care what you're trying to bang), but because of the overemotional behaviors involved. I may make a comment about a stew here and there, but that is due to annoying overemotional behavior and not limited to male or female.
We very likely have a mutual friend or two, as the world of gay pilots is very small. You're obviously a cool dude as you put up with our underboob and such on here. I'm sure it will get better with time, but also understand the career field you've signed up for. It's a bunch of Type A OCD people. There are going to be a few gems here and there everywhere who are obnoxious- that's why the tool of the day thread was started.