You are justifiably frustrated! The easiest borrower to finance at this time is one that is a young/first time home buyer with no other properties and little assets that they move around. Piece of cake!
It is the sophisticated borrowers like you who own other real estate and have assets especially those that they may move around that get the proverbial short end of the stick. The paper trail for this type of borrower can be overwhelming especially if your loan officer didn't prepare you for this up front before the file hits underwriting.
Ironic thing is that the more sophisticated borrower is in reality the lower credit/default risk than a first time home buyer.
The mortgage industry is in the midst of a classic over correct....Guidelines had been much too lax (basically a heartbeat and the ability to fog a mirror was all you needed to obtain a mortgage) and now are quite involved.
Common sense underwriting will make a return but it will take a while.
Sorry you have had such a bad experience! Please know there are lenders out there who do their best to prepare their borrowers for the paperwork involved so there are no surprises once the file goes to underwriting.