If you want to fly a plane buy a Cessna 150 and get a real job.
I have a real job. I get paid to fly aircraft. Nothing wrong with a Cessna 150, mind you, but my ride is a whole lot more interesting and considerably more challenging.
I have no regrets. You seem to live your life in sorrow, and your path here can be measured by a trail of pessimistic tears and disappointment.
It must really grate on you to know that so many of us have happy, fulfilling, productive, and even lucrative careers in aviation.