The E120 reminded me of the hot chick that you could not believe was chasing you around, until you suddenly realized she was a co-dependent schizophrenic bunny boiling nut-job. The MD88 is the chain smoking, three time divorced aunt, who kept the house from her first husband. The E120 used to live with that aunt ... .

The E120 was really cool the first time you got her in the sack. Looks good. Bigger breasted than the 757 and faster than a 727 flown by Bill Panke on his way to a date, if you stay low. Handles nice. But with every electrical fire, every ECU fault that makes the engine go nuts to the point the prop auto feathers, each hydraulic failure you think, wow, that Canadian across the ramp is looking better every day.

One of my favorite E120 stories ... we are boarding, an older lady asks, "Son, is your airplane on fire." I look in the direction she's looking and see smoke wisping up from the Generator Control Units which were mounted beside the FO ... "Yes Mam, it appears we are on fire. Let me help you back down the stairs ...."

The avionics bay door was on the top of the nose. Water would run along the seam, drip down at the back on to the avionics rack which would short out. On IOE my (FO's) shorted out and started smoking while shooting an ILS into 8L. The displays made all kinds of wild patterns. As a noob, I stated "we have had an avionics failure, you have good screens and standbys are on your side, your airplane." Captain replied, "well just look over here then, I'm going to go get my camera ... never seen it make that pattern before." The IOE guys were comically calm ... "oh, that's just a fire ... so you going to get a Hot Dog in Augusta?"

Then there was the APU. The batteries and cables were insufficient to start the APU unless they were in pristine condition. Rather than get stuck, someone figure out cycling the APU switch would confuse the ECU apparatus so that it would dump fuel and then energize the ignitor. (This was so poorly thought out that at my airline the cables were run outside the fuselage to the tail, then Embraer put a cover over the exposed wires) A good FO knew to anticipate the BAMKAWHOOT 15 foot fireball which signalled the Captain's technique on the switch ... it helped illuminate the ramp during the walk around ... "hey, but I thought the battery needed (was it 19, I forgot) volts ... nevermind"

This did teach a valuable lesson for 121 flying. Learning to ignore malfunctions until they fix themselves. Most airplanes are self repairing ....

You military guys must have something similar ... airplanes that were more hostile to your career and your longevity than an enemy AA battery manned by overly ambitious staff officers.