Don't beat up on yourself. I'm not sure why your willing to open yourself to (soon to come) censure. Pilots are the worst group to ask for any kind of forgiveness/empathy. Some on here are going to suggest you forget aviation, get a paper hat and learn to (love
) the fryer.
Clearly your not going to get brownie points for your past indiscretions, but being really, really humble about it you
may win some sympathy. I just wouldn't expect it until the hiring wave (that may, just may, be starting
) is quite away along.
The bottom line, don't give up, put 150% effort into getting what you want and stay optimistic. And even if it doesn't happen, be happy about the opportunities you have. Remember there is more to life than your job.