Well, I was flying with a guy the other day that damn near had an explosion in his pants. He had been complaining for about 20 minutes and he kept contemplating wether to call the FA's or not. Finally, after about two minutes of silence, his head snapped up and I could see him start to perspire. He gave me one of those " oh ****, this is happening now" looks. Immediately I called to the FA's and told them that "Mr. Clean" needed to relieve himself ASAP. The one FA then tells me, "um we're like in the middle of service so…." I say, "well if you don't make getting up front to assist in the lav break a priority, Mr. Clean will end up defecating in his pants". She knows that if this happens it will not be good for any of us and makes the Lav break a priority. Within 4-5 minutes they where at the front with the cart ready to assist Mr. Clean in his colon cleanse. Well, unfortunately Mr. Clean did not get everything down the crapper, it seems that on his way out of the cockpit, he made a bet he could not afford to lose. The poor bastard gambled with a fart and actually sharted in his shorts. I guess he got most of it cleaned up in the Lav but when he returned he was a little ****ed off and extremely embarrassed. I told him, not to worry, that **** happens, forget about it.
Anyone else have any stories about a time when someone crapped themselves on the FD??