"but we are creating the entire reasons they attack us, because we constantly attack them. How does it stop?"
And then I wonder why **they** (whom ever the extremist flavor of the month is) don't see it the same way. The more they attack **us**, the more the violence spreads.
At military school - one method I was taught to win a war was to constantly attack my enemy.
"They may not have known they were terrorists or whatever, but you've just spread it from a few people to a bunch more. How do you stop this cycle?"
Certainly the answer couldn't be a bombing in the middle of the town market could it.