There is nothing to be ashamed about - experience is what you get when you're looking for something else.


The good:
Had the situational awareness about the rising terrain
Aviate, Navigate, Communicate
Knew you had to get above the deck - I've lost friends scud running


The not so good
Weather Planning (did the TAF/Area forecast call for the ceilings?)
Having an out - was there a VFR divert field closer than home, or clear skies behind you? Did you have "get-home-itis"?

I don't think you had a panic attack - perhaps some vertigo. My first solo flight in IMC after getting my IR scared the crap out of me.

Get some more instrument instruction (under the hood and in actual IMC) and you'll be fine. X-Plane and a simple yoke/throttle set up and you can fly from the safety of your man cave.