Really, the pay cut isn't that massive as a retiree. As an O-4, no bonus, with flight pay, I make around 95K. Now I am retiring with full health care and bennies. I will net around 40 a year from uncle for retiree pay and, if I play my cards right and am lucky with timing, will overlap about 4 months of getting paid full AD pay plus first year airline pay. All in all, it is pretty much a wash and I may even come out ahead. If I am able to pick up extra trips, that is money in the bank.
The key is planning and setting expectations. It took a few months to get my wife on board, but once she understood the risks and the rewards, she was committed. She knows it may mean less Starbucks next year and the kids may not go to camp or on a vacation this summer, but in 3 years, we will most certainly be making up for it. Telling her that she can fly to see her sister whenever she wants helps too!
If there is anything to be gleaned from my ranting, it is this:
Get your spouse on board. Show them the long term rewards vs the short term pain.
Manage your expectations. You and the family both need to know there are going to be sacrifices, both in pay and QOL.