"Return fire ... the annoyed stagnated First Officer's guide to passive aggressive retribution."
Could write a book on that one after almost two decades of stagnation in the right seat.
If one tries to respond by attempting a frontal assault like running Omaha Beach on D-Day, the FO loses.
However, if one models his behavior after Hannibal Lector in the early scene with J. Foster in the basement cell in "Silence of the Lambs" where he is offended by his cell neighbor's behavior, then solves his problem by just talking to him for two hours, then a 4-Day trip with a problem Captain can be quite rewarding and professionally satisfying.
Of course safety comes first.