Thread: How to annoy your FO

  #150  
Rather B Fishin , 08-22-2014 06:35 AM
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Rather B Fishin
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  • Joined APC
    Apr 2008
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Quote: Captain (PNF, 25 miles out on visual approach): "You ready for Flaps 1?"

FO (PF): "uhhh..no. Was planning on descending clean at 250 and then decelerating at the little purple "D" on the map screen".

Captain: "I'm a real advocate of using the slats. I mean, do you want to be on the bare edge of a stall this close to the ground?"

FO: "Dude, Vls is 190. Green dot (L/D Max) is 221, clean speeds. How is 250 the bare edge of a stall?"

Captain: (Suddenly without warning, extends slats and calls "FLAPS 1").

FO:"...."

(Time passes)

Capt (10 miles out level at GS intercept altitude of 3600 ft, driving in on the localizer at CONFIG 1 at 190 knots): "You ready for Flaps 2?"

FO: "No, actually I was going to wait till a couple miles out from intercept, slow to 180 and take flaps 2 to hold that speed at idle in the descent on the glide, then hit managed speed and drop the gear at 2500 to start slowing, kill the autothrust, then start with Flaps 3 around 1500-1700 feet or so aiming to be fully configured and start spooling up at exactly 1000 feet. Decelerating approach, just like the FMS is programmed, most comfortable, least power changes, least fuel burned, stable at 1000 feet, exactly the way I briefed it to you and you said "sounds good" about 200 miles ago".

Captain "...."

Captain (5 miles from FAF): "You ready for flaps 2?"

FO: ".......yeah, sure, why not. Flaps 2".

Captain (extends Flaps 2 and drops landing gear): "Here's your gear, too".

FO "....." (Slows early due to unexpected gear extension, drives down the glideslope at approach power at Vapp, instead of an idle deceleration).

(Flaps 3, Flaps full, landing, taxi off)

Captain: "You really need to work on your approach profile. You waste a lot of fuel dragging it in like that. What the hell are they teaching you kids in IOE these days?"

FO: "......."
That's an EASY one. First time he makes an uncommanded configuration change or flight control input you throw your hands in the air and say "Your airplane Captain".
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