There was an awesome thread on this topic in the cargo forums about a year ago or so. That and this guy helped me a ton post divorce.
Mark Manson - Author. Thinker. Life Enthusiast.
But like his writing will tell you, most people seeking "self help" aren't in a mindset to change, they just want to buy the book/get the advice so they feel like they are doing something positive.
Add to your book list: Love and Respect