I agree with most of the other posters. Here are a few more random thoughts:
1. If you want to be a pilot, DO NOT accept an assignment to any other specialty. My recruiter told me that if I wanted a pilot slot to sign up for a NFO slot to enhance my chances of being accepted. I would have been accepted all right...as an NFO. NFO to Pilot transitions were few and far between in my day.
2. The military has a plethora of family support services. Your family will be well taken care of, especially since your wife has employment that is not geographic specific.
3. All that said, I heartily recommend you investigate Air National Guard units who fly the kind of planes you are most interested in. If you are accepted by that unit, you are GUARANTEED to fly that jet. No flight training grade/what pipeline is available crap shoot.
Joining the military was the best thing I ever did. It gave me the discipline I sorely lacked in my life and paved the way for my subsequent airline career.
Selfish? Not hardly. I salute you for your ambition even if it doesn't come to fruition. At least you have the gumption to consider service to your country. That puts you head and shoulders ABOVE the typical slug of your generation.