Scene 1:
Operations (panic, screaming, papers flying): "We can't get people to come to class…let's brainstorm! (long pause, buzzing sound) Here's an idea…pay them!…and cover the hotels!" Yes, yes, that will fix it!…
Scene 2:
Clueless bean-counter (robotic tones): "What?!? These outrageous costs?! Not in our DNA!! Cut costs, cut costs! We must shorten training time...in half!!. Yes, yes, perfect...that should fix it! MG will be pleased, yes, pleased he will be with me!"
Scene 3:
FSDO (laughing, mixed with expressions of disbelief): "Wait,…what??" Bust,…bust,…
Scene 4:
Operations (still screaming): "Our failure rate is unacceptable! We must hire more fodder to cover the training losses. Hire more victims!"
Scene 5:
Classes of 50, in complete disbelief, suddenly realizing that everything they read was true and they have 5-6 days to learn the MD-80 systems before facing a TYPE RIDE WITH A FED.
Welcome to being different.