You're all over it, Gloopy. I recently asked, about five different ways, what the benefit was of being eligible for an upgrade with AT&T wireless, and not once did I get a good answer. They want you on the "Next" plan, whereby you're leasing the latest phone, for the highest possible price.

It's like renting your sofa, maybe worse.

As far as I could tell, the best option is to buy the phone outright, and not try to mask the cost, because it's always there. The more masking, the greater the actual cost.