Sailing,
Horrible story, hope it gets resolved soon.
I have policies with both AFMAA and Navy Mutual (they insure all military branches), both cover pilots/war. On paper they look great, but I don't know anyone who has actually made a claim, so can't speak to how they are when it actually matters.
Looking at VGLI, as a recently retired guy, rates really aren't bad, and I know they'll pay. However, rates get a bit crazy as you get older--they aren't locked. I was able to lock in pretty reasonable rates with above companies. I don't know if they'll pay or fight if I die, but I can only go with best judgement.