From one SSA (single seat anonymous) recovering addict to another, let me give you some advice: you're overthinking your life, brother.

I get it that just a few years ago, you were having to worry if you should tell everyone you always wanted FWIC and were happy to put in for that unaccompanied remote so you could compete while simultaneously completing PME and AAD when what you really wanted was just to go ops-ops and finish your career in the seat.

Step 6.9 of the recovery plan: bid what you want, and want what you bid.