Dear Capt. Spackler,

We are in receipt of the underboob you sent us on May 4th, for which we thank you.

With regards to the issue of "Sick Time", it appears that we, and others involved, concur on several points:

1) The issue (like the underboob) is largely manufactured.
2) There have been no demonstrations of systemic abuse requiring any panties (of which your picture contained none) to be damaged.

It appears to us that it would be just as foolish to try to prove that there has not been any abuse at the individual level, as it is to equate anecdotal reports of abuse with a systemic problem.

We will close the file.

Sincerely,

Sink r8 & Company