Democrat: Take as much of your money as possible, redistribute it through welfare and entitlement programs. Pretend to be the friends of the "middle class" while refusing to investigate and prosecute the masterminds behind the financial collapse. They'll take your firearms, too. They know what's best for you, after all.

Republican: Take as much of your money as possible, give it to Israel and big government contractors to feed perpetual war in the Middle East. Spread fear of everything through the media. Contractors get rich. You can keep your firearms, they have bigger ones.