My take is, living in domicile is the best for all the reasons stated above. more days at home, no stress commuting, etc. However, if the wife and family have reasons to live elsewhere, keeping them happy is important to keeping your marriage intack. The wife is the one spending everyday in MEM/ANC/SDF or whereever. I commute, my wife owns her own business and her family & friends all live near by. That means alot to her when Im 7,000 miles away. So there is trade offs. Besides, nothing is set in stone. try living in domicile and if the local is not to your likeing, move.