Now don't go getting your panties in a wad. But after reading 290Kts' comments, I felt perhaps, a slight variant of Captain O's FCIF might be in order.
Humor - On!
SCP Personnel Change Announcement
FCIF 07-0403 (Admin)
Issued: 07/19/07 2113z Source: Oxxxxxx Rxxxxx Suspense: 08/10/07 Approved: Oxxxxxx Rxxxxx -----The Chief Pilot’s office is pleased to announce the selection of Captain Sxxxx Jxxxxx as the CONUS Regional Chief Pilot effective with the August Bid Month. Captain Jxxxxx is a 1979 graduate of the U.S. Air Force Academy, flew the A-10 and F-16 on active duty and in the Air Guard (Madison), and retired in 1997.
A former Airbus Lead Instructor, he currently serves as the Airbus International Lead Instructor, APD, PCA/Flex IP. His ability to lead by example, his professionalism and honest straight forward management
approach, coupled with his ability to make the "tough call" makes him the ideal person to lead his organization in the direction that the Chief Pilot has established. Please join us in welcoming Captain Jxxxxx to this challenging position. And may God have mercy on his soul.
After several years of dedicated service, Captain Dxx Mxxxxxxx has had quite enough butt kissing and after a good, hot, soaking and massage, has decided to return to line and transition into a widebody aircraft, in an attempt to make up the huge difference in pay between hanging around the office and actually flying the line. Jane Doe, in Crew Training is coordinating a class date for him. Dxx will continue to assist Captain Jxxxxx with his transition, as once a good-old-boys club member, always a good-old-boys club member.
Captain Lxx Kxxxx will assume the duties as the CONUS Lead ACP, because FedEx is still way behind UPS when it comes to the number of management types on the property. Lxx is currently serving as Flight Ops XO but his return to CONUS Region will enhance the transition that has been initiated, and at the same time, will eliminate his international override and per diem, thereby allowing us to hire another 20 line-flying crewmembers.
Finally, Captain Bxxx Wxxxx has been selected to serve in the newly created position of ACP/Security Liaison, reporting directly to The Chief Pilot. Captain Wxxxxx is a Marine, still serving in the reserve component. Qualified in the MD-11, Bxxxx has been performing the security liaison duty for several years in addition to running the Cockpit Defense Course, FFDO program, recurrent training, and a host of related functions. His total flying time here at FedEx is roughly 87 hours, but he promises to fly more, once he finds out how to get out to the jets. By the powers vested in me, as your chief cook and bottle washer, Captain Wxxxxx now has all the authority that being a member of The Good Fellas Management Team, will provide him. And remember, he’s a Marine, so don’t mess with him.
The end result of all these personnel changes, will be an organization that has the credibility, stamina, and professionalism to serve our crewmembers, their families, and our
company.... and fosters a spirit of mutual respect and cooperation between
Management, ALPA, and each pilot. Believe that and there’s this swamp land in Georgia for sale.
Fly Safe
"O"
Humor - Off
