Fuel management definitely qualifies as a core airmanship and judgement skill. Just as stated above, fuel required is very black and white during the planning stages. It becomes much more subjective once the flight has begun.

For example, and as you know, the basic domestic fuel requirements during preflight planning state that the flight must have enough fuel to fly to the destination, continue on to the most distant alternate (if required) and then fly for an additional 45 minutes (reserve).

Once preflight planning has been completed, the fuel has been loaded and the flight has departed however, it now becomes the responsibility of the Pilot and the Dispatcher to monitor the fuel on board as the aircraft proceeds toward its destination and to confirm sufficient fuel remains to complete the flight safely.

The purpose of reserve fuel is to allow continued safe operation if the flight encounters unanticipated delays or circumstances. In flight, reserve fuel may be used to meet such circumstances with no legal consequences. All flights should normally be managed so as to land with reserve fuel unused, however, use of reserve fuel is at the Pilot's discretion provided the flight can be completed safely. Reserve fuel use does not in itself, make completing a flight unsafe.

In your case above, if you arrived in your terminal area and need to go around, don't think of it as dipping into your alternate fuel at "bingo". Think of it as dipping into your reserve fuel, which is not necessarily unsafe (see above).

What I have done in the past is, after arriving at the destination terminal area and we are holding or other unforeseen delays are happening, I confer with my dispatcher and either 1) delete the alternate if it's no longer required, or 2) chose a different and closer alternate. This will effectively put more fuel into your reserve column.

So there is planning and actual. Once airborne, manage your fuel so that you land safely "somewhere" if it comes down to that. Remember you have other tools in your Arsenal. Min fuel and emergency fuel declarations to ATC. If it comes down to this, and as long as the weather conditions are not beyond your safe landing capability, use em. Works good, lasts long time.