Aviation is a money game...unfortunately.
Everything's expensive in aviation, everything. I cannot stress this enough!
Also, the reality of the aviation world is that it requires a huge outlay of money for likely very little return for several years.
Depending on the type of training you're looking to pursue you're probably looking at spending $50,000-100,000 for training, equipment, certification and test fees, etc.
That's half a mortgage...or a really nice car!
You'll need to earn several certifications and ratings to be qualified and have a remote chance of gainful employment.
Assuming you're a go-getter and a halfway decent stick you'll probably become a flight instructor.
You will earn peanuts for dangerous work - and that's if you're lucky enough to even be at a flight school that has enough students to employ you full time.
Most of my CFI friends made around $1,600 a month on average...before taxes...in South Florida...at busy flight schools.
If you hustle you'll get to that magical 1,000-1,500 hour mark in a couple of years.
Assuming you pass that hurdle, the next rung in the career ladder are the regionals/corporate flying if you're a fixed wing guy or tours if you're a rotor head...if you're lucky.
I know guys that sometimes waited years between flying gigs; These were good, smart pilots, mind you.
There's a financial reality to aviation that's easy to overlook when you fantasize about your passion and somebody's waving financing in your face. But it's something you should seriously take into account when pursuing a career in this field.
Basically, if you want a viable career in aviation you either have a lot of money to begin with, have another source of primary employment/income, you get somebody else to pay for your training (cough...MILITARY...cough...or you take on a huge amount of debt.
And that's just the financial side of things. There are things outside of finances that you need to consider as well.
You mentioned that you were married. Ask yourself this:
Am I willing to relocate?
Do I mind not being home for days or weeks at a time?
Do I mind being in a long distance relationship?
How does your wife feel about these things?
Does your wife support you in this endeavor?
I'll tell you right now, if you're in committed relationship and your partner does not stand behind you 100% in this endeavor, your relationship or career will suffer. Probably both.
I'm not trying to kill your vibe but these are serious issues that you need to contemplate before you embark on a career in aviation.
If at the end of this you're still committed to the getting into the aviation game, I'd say your best bet is to go back to a military recruiter and see if you can perform duties in a non-aviation related MOS. You can still get the military to pay for flight training using your VA benefits.
Also, aside from the honor of serving your country, you'll find out real quick if the aviation lifestyle is for you. There are A LOT of parallels between the aviation and military lifestyles.
Best of luck and godspeed!