Doug Parker was sitting in his massive "war" room, sipping on his favorite scotch. As he looked down on his butt kissing minions, one spoke up:
"Doug we have a ton of cash left over from a great year and not giving out any profit sharing. Our tax situation is not good. We need to offload some."
"More bonuses for all of us!!!"
"Yeah we already gave ourselves so much that we also are in a bad tax situation".
"Okay how about this, let's give some money to peons, but we will make it seem like we are doing them a huge favor"
"Let's call it retention bonuses"
"Yes good idea Kimchi, I'm glad I had it!"
(Lots and lots of laughter and drink glasses klinking together)
End scene.