Oh, that Henny Youngman!
Which reminds me of a couple of his one liners that somewhat apply to this profession:

Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"

There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.

My hotel room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

The food on the plane was fit for a king. "Here, King!"

If my mother knew I did this for a living, she'd kill me. She thinks I'm selling dope.

For the doctor side: My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, "Cough!"