I lived in Sac and commuted to my Guard unit in Reno for about 7 years. With 4WD it was very manageable. Chains are only required for trucks and 2WD. If it gets too bad even for 4WD, then they usually just close the freeway. I drove over the hill twice a month or more for the entire 7 years I lived in Sac and only got caught by a long 5+ hour closure once, and that was on my way home. The caveat is, my Guard job was probably a little more flexible than an airline job. I could usually plan around the weather a little bit and adjust my travel accordingly.

As for living in Reno/Tahoe vs Sac....I live in Reno now and it was the best decision I ever made. Instant $5-6k/year pay raise just by ditching the CA taxes. Can't speak to the commute to SFO, but Reno is a great place to live and it's getting better every day.

Truckee would be great, but your cost of living is much higher (especially with CA taxes), and the mountain pass is still between you and SFO. If you look for a place on the other side of the pass, you don't have to go far to get past the chain controls, but there isn't much until you get down closer to the central valley. Places like Grass Valley, Colfax, Auburn, or even Rocklin/Roseville are a nice balance between being in (or close to) the mountains without the travel hassles of being east of the pass.

Travel time from Roseville (NE of Sac on I-80) to SFO is still 2-2.5 hours without traffic, though.

Hope this helps. Good luck.