I religiously hang up my polyester blend pants, which I never iron, as soon as I get to the room. Then, I access the possibility of ironing my shirt (which I occasionally am forced to do). I then hang up the shirt. I take fresh socks, underwear and a T-shirt out of my bag and place them on the rack next to my wrinkled pants. I turn over my hat and use it for what it was best designed for... holding my airline ID. I put my shaving kit in the bathroom next to the sink. Next, I put on my casual uniform (as I can only really fit one change of clothes in an overnight bag on a four day). Finally, I walk out the door to have some dinner and sodas with the crew.

When I return to the room (no matter what condition I may find myself in) I place my wallet, watch, spare change, sunglasses, keys, and black Pilot brand pen into the overturned hat. Most important is that my phone also makes it in to the hat.

Suddenly I awake to the sound of my phone alarm ringing at 3:50 AM. At exactly 4:05 AM I am walking out the front door of the hotel, with my wrinkled pants on, realizing that shortly later I with be underneath an airplane dripping glycol on my now wrinkled though previously ironed white shirt.

The key is to put the phone in the hat so that you are forced to get out of bed quickly so as to not have the time to admire the fact that you are not working. Not only will you not have time to admire the fact that you are not working, but this will also assure that you will not have the soundness of mind to contemplate quitting your job. Once you "come to" you will already most likely be in the air. This will prevent you from walking away from your job now that you can think again.

The day itself happens in such an amazing blur, accompanied by the guilt of leaving the other half of the crew stranded in the limbo of endless delay, that you will stay at work all day. Presto... you finally find yourself back in a cagey hotel room taking off your wrinkly polyester blend pants.