Originally Posted by
TonyC
There were times when we had no choice, with 30+ day TDYs and 330 days/year away from home. We never found anyone we could pay to be there who my wife would prefer over having her husband, the children's father, at home. You can't put a dollar figure on the value of having a dad at home. There's no spreadsheet bottom line that makes domestic help the better option.
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Did a lot TDY as well...but those days were over when I started my airline career. Desert Storm, Provide Comfort, OSW, ONW, etc. all took a toll, and my two oldest still remember those times.
While you cannot put a price on the value of dad being at home, the value of dad on the road at FDX is Hourly pay x about 6 hours + perdiem+B fund contribution. If I really, really wanted to be super dad I could have become a teacher and seen them every day at school, or perhaps home schooled them instead. But I didn't. I am an airline pilot.
I'm not here to belittle stay at home moms, or stay at home dads. What I will say is what they got for letting me chase my dreams was the chase to their own too. Flying lessons, cheerleading camps and events, cars, tuition....any parent can do the math. Life takes money. Making money takes time. Every parent tries to find the right balance. In my case as my kids have gotten older they have gotten to travel all over the globe with me. I was home for proms, major events, plays, recitals, and the standard refrigerator picture list of events...but they also knew that to live our lifestyle daddy has to be gone at times. They seem to have turned out just fine.
My point is I've seen guys who will spend 30k on a new boat who recoil at paying for a babysitter for a night out with mom or a little extra help during the week. Being a cheap--especially when it comes to your family--is a bad investment. Guys will change the oil on a car to keep it maintained, but if a marriage breaks its a lot more stressful than if a car quits running. That was my point. If guys think staying home more makes life better--do it. But unless you live in domicile, you are going to likely be away several nights each month. It still beats the military schedules. My point was simply use some of that hard earned cash to try to make momma's life easier, and everyone wins.