Talked with a controller at Denver center and heard some pretty good stories on this topic.

A USAF bomber checked in with a small emergency. His bomb bay doors were stuck open, and he had live ordinance onboard. He was being vectored around populated areas at low altitudes, when he ran into an area of frequent radar disruption.
The controller called and told him, "USAF 123, reset your transponder, squawk 0666."
Pilot: "Ok, our bomb bay doors are open, we're squawking the devil. Good luck."

Another funny one. This guy Jack is the operations manager at Denver center. A pilot once called, "Denver center, is Jack working tonight."
Controller: "aah Jack, he never works!"

Another good one. A few years back the Denver Bronco's were coming back from a loss in the playoff game on the west coast onboard a United charter. The controller took the flight and issued a clearence to the pilot, "United 123, I need you to hold ... until you guys can get your act together."