Bro! Was that you I saw at the Captain's dinner the other night? Don't forget to wear a Burberry scarf with your uniform...you're a Capitano now. I also suggest switching from Clay hair products to Pomade..you'll want that shiny hair look now.

Pro tip: Buy a box of XL Magnum condoms and always leave one in your wallet. When you go to buy a donut at Dunkins the ladies will see the outline of your rubber...instant seduction points.