There will be no "getting used to it" for your wife. Either she is onboard with the lifestyle (because it will be a lifestyle for both of you) or she isn't. And even if she in onboard with the pilot wife lifestyle it can be difficult at times. Take my schedule for this month... I've only been able to spend 5 full days at home. During this time my wife had to evacuate our home with our 15 month old son along with our cat and dog, and drive 15 hours all alone because of a hurricane. Sure it was an extreme situation, but when I'm not home (and even when I am home) she is the boss of the house and has to be both mom and dad all at the same time with little to no input from me.
And that's just dealing with the spousal issues...
You'll find any ab initio tough if you don't have a real passion for flying. It can be a great career if you do have the passion, but it seems like you might be lacking what it takes. Tried and true advice would be to get your PPL first just to see if it's something you enjoy doing. Otherwise it may be a waste of time. If you find that you do like it, you might want to move back to the States in order for you to have even the slimmer of a chance of a successful marriage. While you pay for your own training here, you also won't be beholden to a bond forever.