I'll preface this with the statement that I did go to a "big aviation school" (UND). However I consider UND to be a University with a flight training program as opposed to a flight training school that offers degrees...

While at UND as a full time student (and full time flyer), there was plenty of opportunity to live a "normal" college life. I had several jobs in college (ranging from fast food to airport ops to campus tour guide) and participated in several "extra-curricular" activities, including student government, sports and performance arts. As long as you remember the primary reason you're there (academics) and don't over stretch your capabilities, you'll do fine.

I didn't have a car my first two years on campus, but instead got around via the campus shuttle, the airport shuttle, and bike/foot. It wasn't a big deal, but did kind of limit my world to the area around campus- especially when the weather was bad. Junior year I purchased a car, and it was nice, but I don't feel that you HAVE to have one to survive. YMMV, but I did fine (despite the often chilly temperatures).

As for choosing the same path (career wise), I'd do it over again, but I'd also probably double major in business or some other "corporate minded degree" program. That way you can be well rounded as well as have a sound aviation background. But again, I wouldn't hesitate to go back and do it all over again if I had the choice to do so.

I'll too defer the military question as I don't have any experience with military aviation... (I was enlisted in the Army Guard for 10 years...)

Good luck!