Rick's Almanac for Noobs...
-Call your IOE check airman before each IOE trip. If you have time off between trips, study and chairfly so you don't get rusty.
-Develop your own personal mental checklist for your personal gear. Pat yourself down every time you stand up (wallet, phone, badges, glasses, jacket, hat, etc). Noobs are always leaving their phones and wallets on the floor.
-Point the Yoplait container away from yourself when opening.
-Eventually your hotel room will get robbed. Don't leave your wallet/passport unattended in the room (or hide it very creatively if you do). Thieves will typically grab all of your crap, check drawers, stuff it all in your suitcase, and split. Takes about one minute. If you carry a laptop of tablet with sensitive personal info, make sure the hard drive is encrypted, that way the thief only gets a chunk of plastic.
-If you want to work out after a long-day, do it as soon as you get to the hotel. Don't sit down or laydown.
-If doing AM's and not accustomed to it, try real hard not to nap on day one. If you do, you'll wake up around 1900 and not be able to get back to sleep until 0100. You'll be zombie when the alarm goes off at 0400. This vicious cycle will then repeat every day for the rest of the trip. Not fun, not healthy, and not safe. If you must nap, do it for 30-60 minutes and set an alarm.
-Don't use earplugs. You won't hear the alarm and will wake up with the hotel manager shaking you and telling you they're all boarded up and ready to go.
-The "SunBeam" brand alarm clock is ubiquitous in cheap hotels. It is also very unreliable due to cheap switches.
-Wakeup calls are unreliable. They'll often mix you up with FA's, so you'll get a wake up call two hours before the 0400 van so you can do your hair and makeup. The FA just has to look good, she doesn't have to be well rested.
-Light in the room will keep you awake. Carry big paperclips to seal loose curtains, and unplug or cover up appliances which have status lights. Once your eyes get accustomed to the dark, the microwave clock is pretty bright.
-If the hotel is loud, call the desk once, then call the company once, and then call in fatigued. That will get the hotel changed very quickly. That's one thing you don't need to put up with.
-Plug in your phone and EFB immediately when you arive at the hotel. Sucks to wake up at 0330 with the realization that your EFB is not charged and the alrm's going off in 30 minutes. Carry an external battery.
-About EFB's... we had a guy get fired because his EFB geo-located him while he was out sick (he was on a personal trip, lied about where he was, and the EFB rated him out). I use it only as an EFB, don't install any personal stuff on it, and it stays powered off in a closet when I'm home.
-On that note... your employer can track your movements anywhere you jumpseat. They can also track you using online nonrev, and probably ID90/ZED as well. If you really need to travel while "sick", buy a ticket on SWA, or drive.
-When you get competitive for majors, get all your ducks in a row (logbook up-to-date, errors accounted for, suit tailored and pressed, interview prep seminar, school transcripts, LOR's, etc, etc). Stay in the books at that point. Being ready for a major interview is a full-time job. If you get called for an interview next week, and you have a four-day tomorrow it would suck if you weren't ready. Noobs today will be competitive very quickly.
-Be 3-5 early for the van. Ten early if it's a big hotel with a big van that runs on a schedule. If inconsiderate civilians fill up the van that you had scheduled, the van driver will not kick them out to make room for you...
-Don't be "that guy"... late for van, shirt wrinkled, unshaven. Your reputation will spread fast and it's a small industry.
-If you're sick, call in sick. Don't pollute the cockpit with your germs.
-To avoid getting sick, stay hydrated, eat healthy, and go easy on the booze. Between dry air, circadian disruptions, and all the typhoid marys at the airport, it's an uphill battle.
-Don't bust the FAA 8 hour rule. If you must bust the company 12 hour rule, don't do it at the hotel, near the hotel, or with any FA's. Go somewhere else and pay cash.
-If you're hung over, do not go to the airport. Call in sick from the hotel. If TSA or the station people think you're impaired, you're going to get breathalyzed and drug tested, and they're going to investigate by talking to your crew and the hotel. If you set foot on the airplane, law enforcement will get involved. TSA loves nothing better than to catch impaired pilots, they get a raise and a merit badge for that.
I'll probably think of more later.