This attitude that spanking a child is somehow destructive to them is perpetuated by individuals who don’t understand how to do it properly.

Spanking a child needs to happen when you’re in control. It’s not an immediate “heat of the moment” action and it should never be used as a threat. It’s a consequence. It’s also not the “go to” option for every offense.

You make sure you’re not doing it in anger. That may require a reasonable waiting period, 20-30 minutes. Let them know it’s coming. You make sure the child understands you love them and they’re receiving the punishment as a consequence for whatever behavior warrants it. Deliver the spanking, comfort them, reaffirm your love for them and move on.