[Collected on the Internet, 1997]

COPYING A PLEA

A Xerox machine cannot be substituted for a lie detector, according to a recent ruling by a Pennsylvania judge.

Detectives of the Bucks County Police Department were hellbent on getting a confession out of the suspect. But instead of resorting to the old rubber hose approach they put technology to use. They clearly [sic] converted the office Xerox machine into a lie detector.

First, the supersleuths put a card saying “He’s lying” into the machine. Then they put a metal colander (normally used to drain spaghetti) over the suspect’s head. Next, they wired the colander to the Xerox machine.

When the suspect gave an answer the detectives didn’t believe, the officers pushed the copy button and the machine spewed out a paper which read, “He’s lying.” Faced with such advanced-level police tactics, the fellow finally confessed.