Originally Posted by
ecam
Since our company deadheads us on full fare tickets, I fly all the major airlines quite a bit. And I have a lot of say in what airline my ticket are bought on. By far Delta pilots make the most PA announcements of the major airlines, but you do hear them on the others occasionally. And the passengers don't like it. I know this because I look around and most of the people I can see seem irritated to have their movie/game/work interrupted by someone with diarrhea of the mouth and an overinflated sense of self importance. Rolling their eyes, throwing up their hands, openly complaining. And maybe pilots don't realize that the FAs are already on the PA nearly constantly these days spewing info about drink options/overpriced food/credit cards/etc.
So from a passenger standpoint:
* NOBODY cares where you're based. Shut up and fly the plane.
* NOBODY cares how many years you were in the military and which jet you flew. Shut up and fly the plane.
* DO NOT break in every 15 minutes on a transcon to tell us what natural landmark or podunk town you grew up in we're flying over! Shut up and fly the plane.
* NOBODY cares about detailed reports on the weather on landing. We all have smart phones these days. If you can't resist, just say sunny/partly cloudy/cloudy/rain/snow and the temperature. The gate of arrival is nice to hear.
* Stop using jargon! Don't say "broken clouds". The folks have no idea what that means and you sound like an idiot.
* The same applies to maintenance delays. KISS. They aren't mechanics and all they hear is "this plane is junk and we are going to die".
* NOBODY cares what kind of engines your 30 year old 757 has or how much thrust they produce. They just want you to shut up, fly fast, and land early.
* Stop yelling!
* Jesus cries every time someone says "sit back and relax" or other asinine aviation cliches.
* We don't need a detailed announcement and description of the chop every time you turn the seatbelt sign on and off! By the way, the FAs still have to make an announcement about the seat belt sign even if you do, so we get our movie interrupted twice. Just stop.
Bonus points:
* People who ostentatiously overuse the word "do". (Mostly FAs)
Now queue all the delta nerds to attack me like angry fire ants in 3,2,1 because I had the audacity to criticize them again. Well guys, stop being this way and we won't make fun of you constantly. Just shut up and fly the plane.
First of all, TL;DR. Secondly, you ripped off Goggles’s “Something happens when someone says ‘Sit back, relax...’” bit. It was funny when he said it. Only when he said it.
D-
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