Your parents are pretty sharp. You will want a non-aviation degree, or an aero-engineering degree in case flying does not work out due to furlough, medical, poor career economics, or loss of interest on your part.

1. Cal Poly and Purdue are good schools. I would avoid ERAU, everybody I know who went there thinks it was WAY overpriced. Also the graduates have a poor reputation in the airline industry, although the ones I know are all good people (just broke). At your age also consider the Naval and Air Force Academies as well as ROTC scholarships...just be comfortable with military service (possibly non-aviation) before you commit.

2. Major in anything that interests you which will also allow you to earn a decent living. If you are independently wealthy, major in whatever you like.

3. You could fly in the military. There are many advantages to this, as long as you are enthusiastic about and qualified for military service. Otherwise I would recommend doing flight training while in college if possible. Some schools have aviation programs (just avoid non-engineering aviation degrees) or you could train at a small school or flight club nearby. It's usually practical to get all the ratings you need while still in school, that way you can get a pilot job (at least as a CFI) when you graduate. If you need to focus on school only, you could get your ratings afterwards at a small local school or club, or a large aviation academy. The local outfits are usually cheaper and allow you to live at home, but you need to carefully investigate ANY flight training provider before comitting your money. There are plenty of relevant threads on this forum.