10. Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain speaking and I really don't feel life is worth living anymore.
9. We are now cruising at an altitude of ... ummm..well, hell, I don't know.
8. Could someone please come up here and explain what this button does?
7. Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiikes!!!!!! Just kidding.
6. Would one of the flight attendants please bring me a scotch on the rocks. And keep 'em coming.
5. This is ... ummmm ... this is your ... ummmm ... damn, I seem to have lost my memory.
4. Passengers on the right side of the plane, doesn't that engine sound funny to you?
3. Welcome aboard Flight 109 ... you idiots.
2. Good Lord, Bob! We're going to crash! Ooops, is this intercom on?
1. Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be on the ground in approximately 10 minutes. One way or the other.
