Well I grew up in Memphis area around Lakeland and Arlington, lived in Germantown and Piperton also. I now commute and love it and yes Memphis has a huge crime problem and it is extending to the suburbs. I chose where I live for a easy commute and I can drive it in 6 hours if I have too. We have 2 Fedex flights AM and PM on most week days and a outbound to MEM on Saturday and a inbound on Sunday and no flight on Monday. My commute flight is 50 minutes and I now live where there are many more things to do than in MEM and the crime rate is much less.
You can live out in the suburbs in Memphis and drastically lower your chances of crime. Memphis however pushes most entertainment downtown FedEx Forum, Beale Street, ZOO, Orpheum etc are all in extremely high crime areas and your family has to transit extremely high crime areas to attend.
Being from Memphis I used to defend the city and really thought it was not that bad till I moved. Now that I see Memphis in snapshots it is really sad to see what my hometown has become. Memphis used to be City Beautiful and win awards for being clean and safe.
I would recommend bringing the significant other and renting a place first in the Memphis area and see if you like it or not.