This isn’t about taxes or wife’s current hotness or kids. This is about a spender being married to a saver. Either one or both of you change your view of spending/saving or both of you will be miserable until the inevitable divorce.
Having tried to change a spender for 15+ years, I can state. It’s near impossible to change a spender so I suggest the OP either divorce or accept living paycheck to paycheck with growing credit card debt because the spending won’t stop at buying the house. And once you’re broke, she’ll likely divorce you anyway- expect that during the next airline downturn.