It's good that you're carefully considering this. In my opinion that you shouldn't go into the military for the sole purpose of piloting an airplane. You ARE an officer first and a pilot second. Your prime motivation should be to serve your country. This is not a game. It's deadly serious business. In the course of a career, expect to have friends and squadron-mates killed and injured in the course of their duties . . . and maybe yourself. Chances are extremely good that you will have non-flying assignments in your career. As a major or lieutenant colonel it's likely that even if you are still in a flying slot, you'll be doing more non-flying duties than flying.
What are the other duties and jobs you have to do as an officer?
Lots. There are lots of ancillary duties in a flying squadron, such as performance report monitor, voting officer, etc. etc. etc.
How long will you actually be FLYING as you move up through the ranks?
Depends on the weapons system, but probably up through junior major.
Can you get stuck on non-flying assignments very easily?
Yes. Or you can get non-vol assignments like getting assigned as a instructor pilot at UPT.
Whats the toll on the family life?
Can be considerable. Lots of temporary duty for long periods of time. Your wife/spouse needs to be able to function well independently and without you for long periods of time. A "needy" spouse is not going to cope well with military life.
Do you ever lose sleep over any kind of "lethal weapons, life risking" type issues?
No.
Exactly HOW cool is that F-16, F-22, C-130?
"Cool" is in the eye of the beholder. Employing weapons systems effectively is difficult and requires lots of hard work. Don't have much time to think about cool.
After seperation, how much time/skills would you say is lost/gained from being in the military when transitioning to civ (Civillian being based on seniority can be kinda jacked up)?
Not sure I understand the question, but military flying time is highly valued by airlines.
How does salary compare (per diem, on base housing/food, base salary, after taxes, flight pay)?
Military pay is very very good in comparison with most major airlines, who have taken massive compensation and work rule cuts. You can do a compensation comparison fairly easily using this website and official military payscales. Make no mistake, however, do NOT expect to be treated with respect or value by airline managements. To them you're a "cost unit" only. Unions are only marginally effective and unity within most unions is poor with wide chasms between the senior and junior pilots' compensation and schedules. As a junior pilot, expect to be "sold-out" by senior pilots.
IMHO, I would absolutely NOT start a career as a civilian pilot. I highly discourage all young guys from becoming civil pilots. The fact now is you're not treated as a professional, nor compensated as one.