Having a friend nearly die and end up with third degree burns on his legs and feet and seeing it all from the next helicopter over. Walking away from an accident where the transmission accessory module missed me by inches because the pilots lost SA due to a brownout and seeing that the other crew chief wasn't so lucky. Having a close friend and pilot die in his Chinook when the other pilot got disoriented and they were so close to the water he didn't have time to react. Being on the wrong side of a line of tracers and hoping they don't find you tonight. Being on the correct side of those tracers and having to live with the sight of what .30 cal. does to a truck full of enemy men when fired at 3000 rounds per minute. Watching one of four blades break in half as the rotor spins down and realizing that centrifugal force was the only thing keeping you alive after the RPG hit the disk.

I should be dead. Those are only some of the stories. I haven't felt, or maybe just haven't admitted to any long lasting effects psychologically. I can only say that I no longer have the capacity for fear. This can be a very bad thing when being in traffic with selfish drivers or any number of other every day situations. My neighbor who was a crew chief in Vietnam feels much the same. He crashed or was shot down eight times in the 13 months he served in the Americal Division. He was there from '68 into '69 and went through Tet. Combat affects everyone differently but there are always scars. His are poor hearing, both knees replaced, and terrible arthritis from the beating his body suffered in all those crashes.

Needles to say, I don't have patience for any stolen valor BS. Tkooj do yourself a favor and keep it to yourself.