EWR seems to have better flying compared to IAD. 777 has been more junior than the 78 and it appears the 78 is worked more on reserve. The 777 might be hard to get with the pratt issues and ord base closing in the short term. Some of those ord guys will come over to ewr. I know you said 1.5-2 hrs away from base is where you are looking but there are places that are expensive for a reason within the 1 hr ring of nyc. That area will always be in demand, has decent schools, and plenty of things to do and see. It is expensive but you save a lot of time and aren't living in the sticks.

Living out in PA in suburbia and adding an extra 45min-1 hr drive to pay almost the same taxes as NJ doesn't make as much sense as it once did. Nj and pa are almost the same cost of living now and the savings if there are any is in the 1-2% of income range. If your wife works her job will probably pay more in NJ but childcare in jersey is almost a mortgage payment per month. You really need to run the numbers for your individual situation. I moved to Florida and you basically get a free house with your state income tax and property tax savings but the schools aren't great.